Oh, You’re Strict Paleo/Vegan/Gluten Free? We have a Lube for that.

Mainstream lube is, like, sooo last year.

Looking for a cruelty-free lubricant that doesn’t contain evil conformist ingredients? Hang on to your PBR and try not to fall off your Fixie: Sauce Edible Lubricant is sugar-free, ketogenic, paleo, vegan, gluten-free AND organically flavored. Game, Set, Match, Hipsters! Get it before it goes mainstream.

(No word on when the company will put a bird on the label.)

“Put a bird on it!”

– Lance, Portlandia Season 1